Happy to Say Goodbye
Aren't you ready to say goodbye to all the terrible things that comes along with being obese and overweight? Look I have said all these things myself and yes there were times that I wanted to stay in my perceived state of comfort and numb out with inactivity and food. But that life, that limited life of being overweight really sucks. I mean let's not lie.
I recently said goodbye to several Ikea bags of clothes that don't fit me anymore. I loved them. I lovingly picked them out and they went with me through so many adventures and the daily grind. There were dresses *with pockets,* T-shirts with Dolly Parton quotes, floor length dresses worn 1x to a black tie wedding, Bermuda jean shorts, fashionable exercise leggings, my signature 3/4 length knit tops of all colors. Really, a part of me was in those bags.
But I decided, really I haven't worn any of that stuff in 6+ months. It's time to let it all go. Let someone else take them and give them some life. They do no good to anyone languishing in my closet.
I guess that's a metaphor for my own life, giving up the fat person for what is new. It's bittersweet, because it was you, but it's time to let that go. Let it all go like Elsa sings. And remember that what you are holding on to isn't any better than what is ahead.
I took some time to reflect on more bad things that happened to me when I was obese. I'm sharing to remind myself and others that being fat, you aren't fat and happy. Maybe comfortable with what you have normalized. But it isn't great, and there is better. (Hey check out the best blood pressure I've had in years!)
Wouldn't it be better not to deal with this list:
- Aching feet from heel spurs
- Wearing out the inner thighs of jeans from chafing
- Being afraid to wash your jeans because then they won't fit anymore
- Wearing power panties with jeans so they will fit better
- Getting mistaken for being pregnant, when you're really just fat.
- Shopping for clothes and being told, another woman came in here and was just like you, big in the bottom.
- Being told, we don't have your size or worse being offered a 5X
- Excusing yourself from athletic team building events because you don't want the humiliation of coming in last
- Being mistaken for the other obese coworkers by new employees. (Makes you wonder how you were described exactly).
- Learning a coworker's nickname for you involved the name Piggie.
- Being tired and hungry ALL.THE.TIME
- Free food at work consumes your thoughts instead of actually motivating you to work or concentrate on what people are saying.
- Exercise leaves you easily out of breath, sweaty and self conscious -- and fit trainers and PE teachers don't understand
- Breaking belts because the pressure your body puts on the buckle
- Trying to love yourself while hating your situation all at the same time.
Yeah. I am perfectly happy to let that all go.
So, I choose this, almost everyday as my lunch and bang out the work to get to my health goals.
I just finished the Couch to 5K running program and am so proud of what I've been able to accomplish. But what is really the best part is just feel so much better, about myself, really about everything.