Pick Your Hard
This is difficult to share but I think this message needs to reach someone out there. Everything is hard. This shit (weight loss) is hard. But being obese was worse.
Top 15 Things that Were Hard About Being Obese (because 10 just isn't enough, I have so many).
1) Having 1 shop in town that carried my size of clothing
2) Unable to wear dresses because my thighs chafe together
3) Learning HR ordered a size 3X jacket for me to wear at work
4) Being offered the special XL office chair by a coworker
5) Breaking a plastic chair once when visiting an office
6) Unable to run 1 mile if my life depended on it
7) Being told you need to go on blood pressure medication or you might die
8) Discovering a boyfriend earned the nickname "Likes 'Um Big" by his friends
9) Looking at pictures of yourself and never liking what you see. Hiding from cameras.
10) Never enjoying social situations because your mind is comparing your body with every other woman in the room
11) Needing hot, painful shape-wear to make your belly less obvious in clothes
12) Having my nightgown pulled up at a sleepover by mean girls who wanted to see my body naked and laugh
13) Worrying how to get in the back row of every photo, mortified when you are put in front
14) Constantly craving food and thinking about it
15) Worried your children will inherit your eating disorder while you die early from some lifestyle disease
My current life is hard. It's hard to wakeup and walk. Hard to eat chicken and vegetables. It's hard learning not to eat when I'm not actually hungry. It's been hard not joining people snacking in front of me. It's hard picking the lean protein at restaurants when you really want chicken wings.
I've come to realize there is joy and peace in the hard things. Sunsets on my walk, falling down with laughter at musical chairs at Girl Scouts, being alive and present for my family, peace knowing I can live a long time and stick around for my girls and see them grow up.
But I'll pick this hard over the alternatives.